I'm back, o readers. I have always been a huge fan of Alistair Cooke, despite his rather dubious politics. The last ever Letter from America is online now at the BBC website, and rather bizarrely it's about comics. If the internet is a broadcast medium, then you could do worse than follow this example.

About a month ago I went on a pub crawl. It was a lot of fun.

Quoth Brian Potter: 'I want to speak to the organist, not the monkey grinder'. Tee hee!
I love Phoenix Nights. Nick and I saw the 'TV's Roy Walker' episode quite by chance and just fell in love with it instantly. I bought the DVD last week. My boss is particularly fond of: 'There's your problem- discarded fag.' 'I knew it, Bloody puff's burnt me club down.' The Radio Times is right, it should be on every week forever.

On a slightly different but no less happy note, my good friend Victoria is getting married! I have known her now for a jaw-dropping nine years, and she is marrying a canny lad of north-eastern origin. On the last occasion we met he was helpful enough to explain Schroedinger's cat to me, and also to Victoria, who despite having done Physics at Cambridge, didn't really understand it either.
Anyway, congratulations and I owe you both a pint.

Blogger ate my last three posts, so I'm not going to write much. Just to say that if anyone is feeling particularly flush, I'd like an 10GB iPod for Christmas, please. Or a lovely Pure Evoke 1, which my mother is getting for christmas and with which I have fallen in love.

My xmas bonus this year will be going towards the purchase of an eMac- then I will be able to BLOG FROM HOME. Look on my works, ye mighty, and P|-|34r me!

It is the 28th October and I can go and buy The Little Friend! Happy Birthday Me!
I don't think my one man protest will have made much difference. At least the embargo-breaking seems to have been universal, so no-one will have gained extra market share- which means that breaking it has achieved very little. You could also question the wisdom of publishing a big novel at the end of October, when budget-chasing retailers are pretty unlikely to leave it sitting in the stock cupboard because a publisher tells them to.

I am halfway through Genome. This morning I find myself idly searching for popular science books on 4m4zon. Reader, it is an affliction. I am consumed by these puffed up popinjays and their simplified explanations of the challenging scientific issues of the day. A cure might be to read a novel, but I am refusing to buy The Little Friend in W4t3r5t0|\|35 because they have broken the 28th October embargo and are therefore very bad people indeed. Luckily all this frantic adding of the dread popsci to my wishlist comes too late for my birthday, which, I feel it is my duty to point out, is nigh.

I had a superb rest in Dundee. Of course I didn't read any of the books I suggested I might, (apart from The Code Book, which I did indeed race through in one sitting on the way back) but I did gain many fantastic records from C____. Highlights include Why Me (Daniel Johnston Live in Berlin); an excellent Johnathan Richman album from 1985 (All through baseball he was loved and respected/Was there bitterness in Walter Johnson? Well, it was never detected); and The Man by Bill Drummond. Coincidentally he was in Dundee, and though I couldn't get a ticket, C____ went. The great man was talking about a piece of art mentalism that he has been concocting. A link when I find one. Suffice to say that I bought a piece of a $20,000 Richard Long photograph that had sheep excrement on it. And I was delighted.

On holiday in Scotland next week, to visit A____ in Edinburgh and C____ in Dundee (I like underscoring like that, it makes me feel like Thomas DeQuincey- or James Hogg, even). Long train journeys await, so I am whittling down my lists of books and records to take. Here are the options:

The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (Abridged version) by Edward 'do do do the funky' Gibbon. Pros: It is very long; I have read the introduction and it looks very interesting; it will fill a horrible gap in my knowledge of ancient history. Cons: It is very long; it is very heavy; I have slight doubts about its readability, depite what the introduction says; it is abridged.


The Code Book by Simon Singh. Bought in a remainder shoppe on impulse because it was cheap and because I enjoyed his book about Fermat's last theorem (which I stole from Jody. Sorry.) This would be a good read on the train I think- I would probably race through it.


Genome by Matt Ridley. Bought in the same remainder shoppe as the above, probably inadvisedly, because it was cheap. I'm sure I won't understand a single word, so the chances of this one making my travel bag are slim.

Records (I'll probably take all of these):

The Young Gods The Young Gods: Bought yesterday in Selectadisc ostensibly as a present for C____, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he already has it, and I want it anyway.


The Action Packed Mentalist Brings You the Fucking Jams Kid 606: Title of the decade! Brief listen to this this morning suggests that it is fab.


The Parker Tapes Cassetteboy: I might need a giggle if there's a delay or summat.


Straight Outta Compton NWA: Quoth Eazy E: 'With a gat it don't matter if you're smaller or you're bigger.' Which is just as well for Eazy, bless his soul, who stood about 2' 3" in his gangsta socks.

Other records I'll probably take to dazzle A___ with:

2 Many DJs

The Eminem Show

The Lost Weekend EP

Also in White

Went to see Små Ulykker last night. I do love the Danish language, with its mad sounds and bizarre inflections. It's like German gargled through sponge.

It was pretty good all told- not as good as Festen but actually it's difficult to see the central conundrum working without Festen having been made. I can't really explain that fully without giving it away, but suffice to say, any doubt you might have about some of the characters in Små Ulykker can only come from certainties about characters in Festen. This sets up a tension which seems very intentional, and probably is, certainly to non-Danish viewers very likely to have seen Dogme films.

Some amazing performances, in particular Henrik Prip and Jesper Christiansen, too, both marvellously watchable.

The comic book periodic table. Now THIS is what the web is for. Click on the table to see a preposterous Stan Lee/ Stan Lee acolyte usage of any element. Note to self: Must try to post something vaguely serious at some stage in the future.

I will not be linking that ananova story I found on a man who found a Jaffa Cake that looked like David Beckham, oh no. Instead I will link Too Many DJs, which, thanks to an unfortunate ordering mixup, I now have 2 copies of. Tell me why you deserve it most and it's yours.

I have been enjoying it wholeheartedly- particularly Independent Woman/ Dreadlock Holiday and Cannonball/ I Wish. Now, if only my boomselection CDs would arrive. . .

Arrrrgh! I was supposed to be linking this article via Aq. (again). I'm not that fond of Douglas Adams' novels but I larffed like a drane at this.

I know what I did wrong now. Pesky inverted commas.

I have returned from Denmark! I am very fat having eaten the European pastry surplus. I also went to Legoland which was absolutely brilliant. There was a model of Munich airport which I could have looked at for days. Yes we also went on all the rubbish rides and had to endure German moustaches but the miniland was definitely the best bit. Though we did play a computer game (Lego Friends) which was the best computer game I have ever played. You have to make a pop record and then choreograph a dance routine to it. I was obviously supposed to be for 12 year old girls but we enjoyed it anyway. It was also in German which added extra humour. Wir Tanzen Ja Super!

Also thought I'd link